Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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