so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
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They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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