Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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