I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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