Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize