why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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