mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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