I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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