Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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