I wish I could punch you in the face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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