We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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