You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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