umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
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