and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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