we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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