no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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