the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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