Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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