I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
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She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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