I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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