What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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