would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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