So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize