I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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