just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
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I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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