do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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