in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize