he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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