Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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