Sry I called you an 8
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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