What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize