So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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