I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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