fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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