we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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