A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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