this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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