She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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