make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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