I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize