We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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