The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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