Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
do nipples grow back?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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