Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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