how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize