so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize