He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize