Dual....:-)
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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