At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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