do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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