I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize